Family Legacy/Transcript
Green's House, porch (Episode title appears on an apple Gramma is eating; Cricket and Tilly are drawing pictures.) Tilly: Look, Cricket! I drew you holdin' that snake you caught earlier. Cricket: Ooh! Check out my picture of you! I drew you as a fire-breathing dragon! But I messed up that foot, so I gave you a rollerblade. Tilly: It is like a mirror of my soul. Female voice: Oh, my goodness! (Reveals a realtor couple nearby.) Male realtor: Are you seeing this place, Dawn? Female realtor (Dawn): I sure am, Don! (They approach the kids.) Male realtor (Don): We could bulldoze this old, haunted house and put in a new hot yoga studio! Dawn: That serves frozen yogurt? Don, Dawn: Hot yogurt studio!! Gramma (OS): Tresspassers BE GONE! (throws an apple core at them; cut to her) The next one will be a grenade! Who do you think you are? Dawn: We're Don and Dawn, the hottest real estate agents in Big City. Don: You might have heard of us. (Shows a billboard advertising them: "Don & Dawn, realtors: "You might have heard of us.") Gramma: Realtors, huh? Well, I ain't sellin'! Dawn: Don, table form. Don: Sure thing, Don. (leans over) Toot... Dawn: (writing something) I think you'll find our offer is more than generous. Don: Look it over, and give us a call. (gives her a slip of paper) Dawn: We'll be waiting! (They laugh and exit.) Gramma: (crumbles it and throws it over her shoulder) Nice try, no one swindles Alice Green! (Cricket picks up the slip and reads it.) Cricket: Hot mama, that's a lot of pistachios! With this money, I could afford luxuries previously unobtainable. (He imagines himself bouncing on a trampoline.) Dream Cricket: Wheeeeee! (laughs) Yay! (Dream ends.) Cricket: Cricket Green: Trampoline owner. Tilly: I can't believe you turned down that offer, Gramma. You must hate money. Gramma: Oh no, honey. Your Gramma loves money. But that offer is chicken scratch, compared to the Green family treasure! Cricket: (eyes open wide) Treasure? (joins them on the porch and coughs) You were sayin' something about treasure? Gramma: Hmm...I suppose I can trust you. The Green family treasure is buried somewhere on this land, and it's worth ten times as much as those flim-flammers were offerin'. Cricket: Ten times?! We gotta find that treasure, right now! Gramma: Heh, if only it was that easy. (She removes her prosthetic leg and shakes out some junk until she gets a tied slip of paper.) Gramma: Its secret location has eluded me for years, and all I've had to go on is this clue. Cricket, Tilly: Whoa... Gramma: Papa left me this clue years ago, but he wrote it in a riddle, and I'm no good at riddles. If you've got something to say, say it to me straight! Tilly: Oh, I love riddles! Some of my best dreams have been riddles. I can't wake up 'til I solve them. Cricket: Now let's see what we're workin' with here. (He opens the paper and they read.) Cricket: To find the treasure, answer each clue, But Train yourself to see things anew. Tilly: Start at the Porch, be in step with Time, Cricket: Use Bixby's Hands to find the next rhyme. Bixby? Tilly: Who's that, Gramma? Gramma: Bixby and his father Jerome were the first Greens to ever settle this land. Green's house, Bixby's time (Flashes back to sometime in the 1800s; shows a little boy, Bixby, and his father, Jerome, who bear rather uncanny resemblances to Cricket and Bill in the here-and-now.) Jerome: This is it, Bixby: the future site of the Green Family Farm. Once the train station's finished, passengers will come from all over to buy our fruits and veggies. Bixby: Sounds good, Father! And look, I already made a new friend! (His head is in the mouth of a cougar; it carries him away.) Jerome: BIXBY! (Chases him) Gramma (VO): And so, after a few months and a few more cougar scares, the Green Family Farm was officially open for business! (They officially open the farm and wait patiently with a bucket full of apples.) Gramma (VO): But then, business would never come. (Bixby checks his pocket watch; it is at 9:00.) Gramma (VO): The 9:00 AM train that was s'posed to stop thundered past without a second thought! (The train zooms right past their house.) Gramma (VO): Turns out the railroad company decided to move their stop to the next town over! Jerome: Darn that railroad! Urrrgh!! (throws his hat on the ground) Bixby! Throw your hat down in disapproval! Bixby: (does so) Ugh!! Jerome: (sighs and leaves) If we don't get any business, we're gonna have to sell the farm. Bixby: (picks up one of the apples Jerome dropped) Sell the farm? I can't let that happen. But how...? (He hears the family horse whinny; he turns to see her next to him.) Bixby: That's it! Thanks, girl! You gave me the perfect idea! (the horse eats the apple, hand included) AAAHHHH!!! (The rooster crows the following day; Bixby gets his watch from his nightstand and loads a bucket with apples.) Gramma (VO): The next day, Bixby set his plan into motion. (He pops out of a bush and checks the time.) Bixby: 9:00 AM, right on time. (The train arrives; shows a couple onboard.) Male passenger: Man, I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse! (Bixby rides outside the window on the horse.) Male passenger: Oh-ho! How convenient! Bixby: Howdy, folks! Care to buy some fresh fruit from the Green Family Farm? Male passenger: Oh-ho! Even better: I'll take the entire bushel! Bixby: (hands him the apples) Here you go, mister! And don't forget to tell your friends! (Jerome sadly sits on the porch; suddenly money rains down around him.) Gramma (VO): The family farm was saved! (Shows Bixby dumping the money from his hat.) Bixby, Jerome: (laughing happily) (Flashback ends.) Green's house, present day, porch Cricket: Cool story, Gramma! But how does that help us find the treasure? Gramma: The riddle says to start on the porch and be "in step with time," whatever that means. Tilly: Hmm... (it hits her; she gasps and draws something) Bixby's train arrived at 9:00 AM. What if... (Reveals she drew a picture of Bixby's watch at 9:00.) Tilly: Bixby's hands are a map? Cricket, start at the porch, and walk twelve steps forward. Cricket: Whoo! I'm being useful! (runs off) Gramma: What are you on about, girl? Front yard (Cricket is following Tilly's instructions.) Cricket: Nine, ten, eleven, twelve. Tilly: Now nine steps left. Cricket: You got it! (following) Seven, eight ni -- (stops at a rock) Huh? HEY! This big, dumb rock's in the way of nine! (tries to pull it up) Gotta...ugh...move it...!! (He struggles and lifts the rock all the way up; Tilly investigates.) Tilly: Hmm... Gramma: Psssh! There ain't nuthin' under that rock. Tilly: You're right, Gramma! The clue's written on the rock! Gramma: (walks up to them) Wha -- really?! (The bottom of the rock has a riddle engraved in it.) Tilly: To save the farm, Metrona had to fly. Cricket: (struggling) Tilly...could you read a little faster, please...?!! Tilly: (faster) Her clue is a breeze, Pulling her through the sky. Gramma: My gracious, I -- I can't believe you found the next clue! You kids are smarter than you look. Tilly: What do you think it means, Gramma? Cricket: (has the rock flattening him) Yeah! Who's Metrona?! Gramma: Ah, Aunt Metrona. The first Green to conquer the sky. Green's House, Metrona's time (Flashback; some time after Bixby, a biplane flying over the farm.) Gramma (VO): She was a stunt pilot. She spent most of her days with her head in the clouds, much to the worry of her father, Archibald Green. (Shows Metrona's father Archibald; he too looks exactly like Bill. She almost runs him over with the plane's propeller before stopping at last.) Archibald: Wow, great flyin', Metrona, this plane can really move! Although, I wish you hadn't torn down half the farm to build it. That was my favorite barrel! (Metrona bears a strong resemblance to Tilly; she poses and raises her goggles.) Metrona: Sorry Papa, but the sky was callin'. (gets off) Besides, you can't do barrel rolls without a barrel. Archibald: Heh, ya got me there. Metrona, Archibald: (laugh) (Everything suddenly goes dark.) Gramma (VO): But dark times lay ahead for Archibald and Metrona. (A green mist comes out of nowhere and engulfs everything on the farm.) Gramma (VO): In the blink of an eye, a huge swarm of aphids started feastin' on the farm! (Aphids start eating all the plants; before long everything is deserted.) Archibald: If this keeps up, I'll have no choice but to sell the farm! Gramma (VO): Metrona knew she had to do something. Archibald: Why, aphids?! WHYYYYYY?! (unknowingly swallows a swarm whole and coughs) (Metrona holds a ladybug on her finger.) Gramma (VO): She also knew that ladybugs were an aphid's natural predator. (She stuffs several ladybugs in a bag and grabs it; she gets on her plane and takes flight.) Gramma (VO): So she gathered up a whole bunch of those little critters AND TOOK TO THE SKY! (The rear compartment opens to let the ladybugs out in a swarm.) Gramma (VO): Once she was high enough, she released the ladybugs, and they rained down on the entire farm! (One aphid faces one of the ladybugs; it is eaten, as are the others.) Gramma (VO): Eating every aphid in sight! (One ladybug roars; pulls back to show it completely a normal spectacle.) Metrona: Aww, they're so cute! Gramma (VO): And once again, the farm was saved... (Flashback ends.) Green's House, present day, front yard (Gramma has a ladybug on her finger; she releases it.) Gramma: ...By the whip-smart ingenuity of a young Green. Cricket: Wait, you're saying we have our very own airplane? Gramma: Well, we did. What's left of it is buried under the cafe now. (points to Big Coffee) Tilly: Then that's where the next clue must be! Cricket: Let's go dig it up! Oh, wait -- Gloria will be there. Hmm...this will require a certain degree of delicacy. Big Coffee, interior (They barge into the cafe with construction equipment; Tilly is riding Herbert.) Cricket: THE GREENS ARE HERE TO TAKE BACK WHAT'S OURS! Gloria: No! No! I saw you guys coming, so I called the cops and they're on their way now! (They make a hasty retreat.) Cricket: AGH! SCRAMBLE! SCRAMBLE! Green's House, backyard Cricket: Okay, new plan. We disguises ourselves as giant pigeons and -- Gramma: Forget it, Cricket! That airplane's long-gone and so is the clue. I always thought I'd find that treasure one day... (rips Bixby's clue and lets it wither in the wind) But now I know it's impossible. Cricket: Aww, come on, Gramma! We're so close to the treasure I can almost taste it! (Tilly sees the fragments of the clue float over her in the direction of the windmill, which spins; she stares at it for a moment.) Cricket (OS): I mean, it tastes really bad, when you got a mouthful of gold, but who cares? Tilly: (eyes go wide; something hits her) Oh my goodness goblins. (grabs Cricket) We don't need to find Metrona's plane, we just need her propeller! And it's right in front of us! Cricket: Tilly, you're a genius. I'm on it! (He climbs up to the windmill vanes.) Cricket: Hey, there's somethin' written on the back! Gramma, listen to this! Gramma: What? Are you messin' with me, boy? (He turns the windmill and reads the clue on each vane one by one.) Cricket: The farm was dry... I wanted to sell... Our family treasure... Is in a place... Alice knows well. ("Well" echoes out") (Now it hits Gramma; zoom in on her widened eyes.) Green's House, Gramma Alice's time (Zooms out to reveal Gramma from the time when she was a little girl. She stands around various ungrown apple patches and holding a toy shovel.) Young Alice: Papa, why aren't any of my apple seeds growin'? (Her father too has a strong resemblance to Bill.) Alice's father: Nothing can grow in this drought, Alice. It hasn't rained in months! (Shows the dehydrated farm.) Alice's father (OS): The farm's all dried up! Young Alice: So what are we gonna do? Alice's father: The same thing men in this family have done for generations: try to sell the farm! (He leaves, but Alice looks at her shovel and doesn't go with it. She starts digging loads of holes.) Young Alice: There's gotta be water here somewhere. Alice's father (OS): Alice! (A loader has been set up nearby.) Alice's father: It's time to go! Once I sign these papers, they're gonna start demolishin'! Young Alice (OS): I DON'T CARE! I'M NOT GOIN'! Alice's father: Come on, Alice. There's nothin' left for us here. (grabs her) Come on, now. Young Alice: NO! NOOOOO! (She drags a trail with her shovel; a sproutling pops up where it dug.) Young Alice: One of my apple seed's sprouting. There...must be... (breaks free of her dad's grasp) ...water! Alice's father: Huh? ALICE! COME BACK HERE! (She gets on the loader and drives it away.) Alice's father: ALICE!! (pants) (She starts digging near the sproutling.) Young Alice: Come on, come on! (One more dig; spouts of water come out of the dirt, before one big blast.) Young Alice: Sweet corned beans! Water! Alice's father: ALICE! Oh Alice, you did it! You saved the farm! Young Alice: Of course I did! I'm Alice Green, what do you expect? Alice's father: Over there is where we'll put our new well! ("Well" echoes out) (Flashback ends.) Green's House, present day, backyard (Zoom back out on the present-day Gramma; she stands.) Gramma: Sweet corned beans! Kids, I know where the treasure is! (realizes they're not here) Kids? Cricket: (comes out) Oh, hey Gramma. You were starin' into space for like, ten minutes, so we went inside to get a snack. Tilly! Gramma solved the last riddle! Tilly (OS): I'm comin'! (Some time later, she digs in the spot her well once stood.) Gramma: This has gotta be the spot! Leave it to Papa to bury the treasure near the old well, right next to my apple tree. This thing's as old as me. Cricket: Wow, a thousand years old. (She suddenly hits something.) Tilly: What'd ya find, Gramma? (An ancient box is partially dug up.) Gramma: It's...a box. (takes it out) It's a little smaller than I thought. Cricket, Tilly: Open it, open it!! (She opens the box; inside are nothing but a toy shovel, aviator goggles and a broken pocket watch stuck at 9:00.) Gramma: (frowns) This isn't treasure, this is just a box of DUSTY GOO-GAS! (throws it down) If that's all that's buried on this land, then it ain't worth keepin'! Papa played a good trick on me. Time to sell this place and move on. Dawn (OS): Did someone say "sell"? (Don and Dawn are peeking over the fence.) Don: Y'know, our offer still stands. Gramma: All right, let's talk. Cricket: Oh my gosh, she's actually gonna sell the farm! What the heck was in that box that made Gramma so mad? Don: Here's the contract... Gramma: Hmm... (Tilly stares at the items. She notices something familiar about them...) Tilly: Metrona's goggles, Bixby's watch... Cricket: Gramma's shovel. Dawn: (handing Gramma a pen) There you go. (Tilly turns to Cricket, it all comes to her now.) Tilly: Don't 'cha see, Cricket? This must be... Cricket: A warning! Dawn: Sign along the dotted line... Tilly: Gramma, STOP! (She and Cricket are wearing the gifts from their ancestors.) Cricket: We're here to save the farm! Gramma: Huh? What are you talkin' about? Tilly: It's just like in your stories, Gramma: Every generation, the kids have to stop the old folks from givin' up on this place! Cricket: Yeah, Gramma! The stuff in the box isn't the treasure, the farm is! (Gramma takes her shovel, having hope.) Don: Duh, please. This junky old house? Dawn: It's better off bein' replaced by a spa...for dogs. So...back to signin' that contract! Gramma: (looks at her shovel; pauses) ...No. The kids are right, this land belongs to the Greens NOW AND FOREVER! Cricket: Which means you're trespassing! Tilly: That's right! Dawn: What? (apples are thrown at them; they scream) Don, defense mode! Don: (makes like a shield and buzzes) You haven't seen the last of -- (gets hit with an apple) OW! Cricket: (laughs) Tilly: And stay out! Cricket: We did it! The farm is saved! Tilly: Almost. There's still one last thing we gotta do. Backyard, some time later (The kids place a drawing of them in front of the house with the words, "NEVER SELL!!", into the box.) Cricket: What do you think, Gramma? Gramma: Looks like treasure to me. (She re-buries the box.) Gramma: The Green family legacy is secure once again. Bill: (comes out with a shovel) Hey! You guys lookin' for the family treasure? Mind if I join the hunt? Cricket: Sorry Dad, we already found it. Tilly: And solved all the riddles. Gramma: The treasure was the farm all along. Bill: Aw... Category:Episode Transcript Category:Season 1 Transcripts Category:F Category:A-Z